Final Dole Scum Diaries entry.

I'VE GOT A JOB!!!!!!

Brilliant!!! Finally after all this time I have got a job. I will be starting on Monday and though I am really excited, I am as well incredibly nervous.

Surprise, surprise, it is not for the company that kept on dicking me about. Considering that I had my first phone interview with them about a month and a half ago... I still have not been made an offer. Though, I did get a call on Monday to check whether if I was still interested and that they were going to interview one more person on Wednesday and hopefully let me know this week. I thought about calling them as soon as I got the other offer, to let them know I was out of the race... but my wife (maliciously) suggested for me to wait for their call and then just drop them.

It is weird and exciting the fact that I will be working again!!! The maddest thing is that I can tell you now that apart from travelling this year, I had surgery late last year. This all comes down to the fact that in between surgery, work holidays and travelling, I have only worked for four full days and four half days since November 2nd 2005. Shocking, I know. I am a bit out of shape, but hopefully my enthusiasm will keep me going until I climatize to working again. Looking forward to the commuting once again. Fighting for enough space to read my book on the tube and falling asleep on the train on the way up.

Other than that, nothing much has happened. The last couple of days (including today) I have enjoyed of what I would like to call proper leisure. To give you an idea, this morning I stayed in bed for far too long. I really abused my overstay in bed this morning, so much so that when I eventually got up, I felt incredibly clumsy. Man it was nice. That will all be over, come Monday morning. I am going to be working in north London, so the commuting will be a bit of an extra trek this time around.

Of course I had great ideas and plans for my last days as a Dole Scum... very little has come to be of those plans. I had thought of having a deep vein thrombosis challenge and watch back to back the three extended versions of the Lord of the Rings. I think that seemed more daunting this morning when thinking about being bed ridden for twelve hours with only toilet breaks on each disc change. Think about it, it would have been an order and a half. However I have enjoyed lying in bed reading a nice book and watching some good white trash day time telly. I am indulging in the shows I forbade myself from watching whilst unemployed.

Avoiding Jeremy Kyle and the fact that they sold my local pub (and the fact that they don't open until the evening) has saved my liver and my giro from being cashed at the pub every lunch time. But I have watched Jeremy Kyle in the last couple of days and gloated on laughing at other people's misfortunes. For all our readers from foreign lands, Jeremy Kyle is a poor man's version (trying to be sophisticated) of Jerry Springer. The joys of idleness.

This entry is a small farewell and thank you to all the people that have read or come across this little place of mine. It is not a definitive good bye, you cannot get rid of me this easily. However for legal and moral reasons... the blog will undergo a big change come Monday. I can only leave that as a surprise and hope that you return. The most shocking thing, is the fact that my stories won't improve dramatically once I start working. I will have stories of other people more often, all of which I will not be able to use their real names or the name of my employers. But I hope that if I have managed to entertain you somehow, I can continue doing so in the near future.

So I wish you all the best and thank you for your support and your comments and hope that you return to this little place once it has been revamped. Thank you all and you will hear from me soon.

There are three episodes of the Dolecasts already available. Today and tomorrow I shall be recording the final episode of that series. Soon to continue the podcasting work under a new guise. Thank you and see you soon.

Dolecasts available.

Hello there. Hope you are well. Well, just a quick update on what's been happening.

The one job that I mentioned recently, with whom I've already had three phone interviews and two face to face interviews, seem to still be dicking me around. Had my second face to face interview with them on Tuesday, though they only confirmed the time on Monday at around 5 pm. They said that it would take a couple of days and I am still waiting, today being Friday.

Apart from that, today I had my review meeting as it is three months that I have been on the dole. God, it makes me feel soooooo dirty. So they just wanted to see that I have been actually looking for a job rather than sitting at home watching Trisha. Because every time I go to sign on I have to take proof of job applications and (if any) interviews, they knew I have been busy at it. The bloke was quite pleased that he wasn't going to ask me for any proof. I had to pull print outs out and interview confirmations. He was about to let me go, having taken my word for it. Seriously... and honestly.

Well, the main thing for this update is to share with all of you beautiful people the complimentary to the blog. Now close your eyes for a second and imagine some drum rolls... Tada!!! We have a Dolecast!!! Actually, I have recorded 2 Dolecasts now and will get the third one under way very soon.

This blog sets the standard for the Dolecasts but it has some things that have not been published here. If you want to and have the time I invite you to download them, listen to them and let me know what you think. They are a work in progress and slowly I am beginning to settle into it. I would like to believe that they are already improving, but you'd be the one to decide.

http://peyotitlan.jellycast.com/podcast/feed/2

If you listen to them, as I said, I would really appreciate any honest feedback and if you want to rate it on the Jellycast website, that'd be great. Well, without further ado... I am off.

Heather Mills interview and situation.

First of all we have to make things clear. We are not here to judge her or ridicule her, simply to highlight a couple of things.

This divorce has been on the press for so long that it is even difficult to remember when one first got sick of it. For me is very easy to be impartial as I can't stand either her or Sir Paul. Whether if she is or isn't a gold digger, is not within my interests and frankly I couldn't give a shit.

The funny thing is that she is British, lives in the UK... is hated in the UK. So to clean up her image and save face she gives a TV interview... in the US. It doesn't make any sense, but that seems to have been her choice. But here comes the main point for this entry, one thing she said in the interview:

'...I would rather someone come up and chop all my limbs off, than go through what I went through...'

Sorry love, REMAINING LIMBS...

Weekend round up.

The weekend was a mixed bag but great over all. So here is a recap from Friday.

On Friday I continued to be dicked around by the company that had previously interviewed me twice over the phone (1 hr each) and once in person (another hour there plus travelling). Today is three weeks to the day from my face to face interview. On Friday they called me again (another 45 minutes). To sum it all up, they called me to re-do (pretty much) my first phone interview. Brilliant isn't it? Went for now the fourth time over my CV and answered the same questions. The nice thing at the end of the chat was the bloke telling me 'Don't think we're messing you about, but... I still want to talk to a couple more people... and hopefully we'll get back to you on Monday to see if you can come for a face to face interview' Thank you for not dicking me around. The worst thing is that though, obviously, I am beginning to go off this company... if they were to offer the job, I would take it as I need it badly.

Friday night went to the pub with a mate and as it is a tradition now, some freak sat at our table and managed to shock us and make us laugh for hours afterwards. The bloke at first seemed nearly human but was quickly to address that misconception. Within minutes he shared with us some rather awkward and intimate details. About his divorce and how now he is 'with this really fit bird. She is gorgeous... and she's filthy. Seriously mate, she is absolute filth... I have pissed in her mouth' honestly, I am not lying here, his words not mine. Then he told me a 'SECRET' he learnt from the Navy and had to sign the National Secrets Act. Funnily enough I actually knew that piece of information and told him so. When he asked me how I knew about this, my reply was 'Can't tell you mate, it is a national secret...' He looked a bit pissed off.

He asked us if we lived near by. I told him that I lived in the next town and my mate told him that he live a couple of blocks away. This bloke lived a couple of block away too. And when my mate asked him where he lived, three times he answered 'I'm not fucking telling you...' in a matter of fact tone, that might have felt a bit awkward or intimidating by the third repetition.

Regarding sports, it was a bad weekend for myself in the UK. Both my football team Fulham FC and my rugby (union) club London Irish lost over the weekend. My football club in Mexico, Chivas won to my great relief.

Sunday was glorious. A few mates from Mexico that live in London came down for a late lunch. Not only was their company great, but they brought all the food and a few beers. That was splendid as the washing up I have to do today is minimal for that of entertaining guests. The food was delicious. A mate's brother (Poncho) made Tortas ahogadas. A typical dish from Guadalajara, see the photos attached. All I can say is that they were delicious and can't wait to have them again. They are basically a hard crust roll with pork (seared and then roasted with spices and honey) with some beans. Then you drench it with a tomato/herbs/spices sauce. Add some onions and then chili sauce to taste. They were nothing short from amazing. I will get the recipe and try and emulate such perfection.

Anyway, hope you had a great weekend too and I'll leave it here.

Personal update.

Greetings beautiful people. As you can see, I am still here and sadly I am still sponging off my previous contributions. Just a quick note to bring you up to date with the latest happenings and non-events I have faced in the last few days.

You all know about the fact that I am now a 'published writer'. I wrote and submitted a little piece for the well known Private Eye magazine, of political satire and critique fame. Ha, I submitted a stupidity that somebody had said and it got printed in the Colemansballs section. If you have the current issue, it is the very last one from the Fulham FC fitness manager. If you find it and read it, please do not publish my real identity as this I have managed successfully to keep it a secret, unlike Superman, Spiderman, Batman and the list goes on...

I still haven't heard anything back from the last interview that I had, nearly three weeks ago. Yesterday I finally got from the agency a 'They are keen on you, they just want to see a few more people'. Just as a friend of a girlfriend told me when I was 15, only just beginning to heal that one.

I did 4 hours of temporary work yesterday. Though it was just about half a day, having had run 4 miles shortly before I got the call, I found it all a bit tiring. The one good thing was that though there was an office full of call centre people, I was able to keep my head down and let my empty thoughts drown out the noise. It wasn't even necessary for me to get my MP3 player out. I have applied for a few more roles and checked today that the folder where I keep all the application receipts, contains over 200 messages. There you go, just for your peace of mind and to show you that I've not been scratching my balls and watching Jeremy Kyle all along.

It is so frustrating though. The funniest thing is that if I don't have an interview, I don't shave. So now it is getting all back to the respectable levels of a prepubescent beard. Thank you Genetics!!! It is mighty funny the following image. I need you to look closely at it and pay attention on the change of tones. I took this photo the other day when I got back from a run. I took it mainly because of the shape of the sweat patch on my chest. If I'd planned it, it would have not happened and I promise it was not tampered with. Leave a comment on the shape of it and what you think please.

I have been adding random photos to the entries as I believe it makes it more attractive and it takes some pressure off from the quality of my writing. Most of the photos are taken with my phone and that is why the quality on some of them is not amazing, but I'd like to share some of my favourites here with you all. Apart from all the mad nonsense from above I have done some cleaning in the flat. Having a mild OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and don't ever make me repeat that explanation) makes it great for cleaning. The bathroom not only experienced a cleaning, but more what I would call either 'Clinical' or 'Forensic' cleaning. Very nice indeed, but distressing as it was taking place. Today I am hoovering and doing the dishes. I bet you are all so jealous now.

Something else that I have been focusing my idle brain on is the 'Dolecasts'. I admit that I have only so far recorded the pilot episode. You have not hear it as I am very critical and think you all deserve something better. However, I have felt the recent pressure recently and I will record at least a couple more. I feel my unemployment status might be changing soon and I could not cheat you. I could never record a Dolecast if I wasn't a Dole Scum. When the impending change takes place, this will all go through a transformation that I have to keep under wraps until the time is right. Until then I hope you can continue joining me in my mental (imaginary, not as in disability) adventures.

I'm a celebrity?

After several meetings at ITV, they have agreed to rename their succesful reality TV show for next year.

The name will change from "I'm a celebrity get me out of here" to:

I once used to be on telly but not long enough for you to actually remember me and am only doing this to resucitate a more than stale or moribund career with no talent what so ever and having forgotten about my dignity and all self respect, GET ME OUT OF HERE... but not before I have been over exposed or early enough for me to stay at the luxury hotel until the end of the series as I have not had a good meal or a fixed abode since last time you saw me on television.

Pete Doherty, Arena special (BBC2 12/11/06)

WARNING: ALL THE COMMENTS MADE HERE ARE PERSONAL OPINIONS AND SOLELY BASED ON PERSONAL (MIS)JUDGEMENT.

Last night we were all treated to a documentary following, ex-Libertine, Pete Doherty.

Without much further ado, the documentary was exactly what I expected. It was a sad attempt to glorify a useless cunt. They bloke might have some talent, though I disagree with the level that has been accredited to him for the last three or four years. I remember the first time I read about the Libertines. They sounded like something fresh and back to the old skool of junkie rock and roll. Needless (or should it be needles) to say, in my opinion they could never live up to the NME hype.

They are not, or ever were, a band that would change music or your way of thinking. Forget even about glamourizing heroin, in my opinion they have only about three decent tracks and only one that I really like (Time for heroes). My main problem with Pete Doherty is NME and the news papers. Though, he argued on the documentary that he never reads the papers or is aware of how much coverage he gets, I doubt it.

He is a pretentious tosser that has bought into his own hype and regards himself as an artist who suffers for his art. He is not an artist, he is not a genious and all the suffering might come from all those times he has tried to go Cold turkey. The most amazing thing is how vacuous are the lives of some of his fans. I bet you that if he went to a male fan of his and offered to blow him so that he could get some smack, the male fan would be offended at Pete lowering himself and he in return would offer to blow him and buy him all the smack for one week.

The desperate faces and screams from the shows. I know what it is like to feel passionate about a band you are going to see. Maybe even have been nervous trying to approach them if I see them on the streets... But, fucking hell, the way his fans screamed and how their faces go all red and their eyes pop out, only reminded me of Chelsea, Arsenal and Man Utd fans, you do the maths.

The one talent that I would give him is that he is the first person I have seen on telly 'painting' with a needle (as in hypodermic) and his own blood off his tits on something. The only similar thing I can think of is when people 'painted' with their seed (aka spunk). The documentary was boring and it gave me as much an insight into what I already assumed. In a way I wanted to feel sorry for the rest of the band (Babyshambles) for what is going on. Maybe have one good show out of fifteen, maybe actually get to do a show... But I don't really feel sorry for them, as though they might be his mates, they are as well hangers on, basking on Doherty's attention and fame.

Something hilarious is when they showed clips of a show they played recently. The one where Kate Moss sang backing vocals in a couple of tracks. It was amazing to see that she can be as pathetic as Posh Spice (aka Victoria Beckham). There was something seriously desperate about the few glimpses that we got. This truly surprised me as I imagined her a strong character that was helping PD out of all this mess. She might be, but that didn't come across.

To sum all this up, the documentary was OK, sadly the subject proved to be less interesting that one might have hoped. And now my three scenarios concerning him have intensified my fears.

Number one, as sick as I am to hear and read about him (even if I avoid it) all the time. With NME having turned themselves into a Pete Doherty Heat or Celeb shite magazine journal. In cases like this you might wish the person to die. However in this case, I want him to stay alive. If the hype is as it is right now, if he died, no matter what they would try and turn him into a new Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin type of legend where it would be truly undeserving and disrespectful to the memory of Jimi and the lot.

Number two, god I wish he would die just to get him off the papers in fifteen years, though as mentioned above, his dead would make it far worse.

Number three, I'd be really pissed off if the following were to happen. Lets say that he manages to stay clean. Lets say that he get his act together and focuses all the shit the drove him to despair into a productively creative form. I fucking dread to think that one day he might actually release a seminal album that could change the music scene and the way we all think. The would be an ironic twist that would kick me in the nuts and laugh at my face.

Whatever happens with him, I know you'll be able to read about it every week in the NME. Just like you have been able to for the last three or four years. I am sick of him and so bored of waiting to hear something gifted coming from him. In my opinion he does not deserve the hype and he's not even funny to watch. Fuck him and may he live long.

Guest 500

If you are the 500th person to look at this blog, please leave a message and thank you very, very much.

Ha, ha...

My prayers have been answered!!!

I submitted the entry from the Fulham fitness manager to Private eye and they are publishing it. Because of that I am now the proud winner of the valuable sum of £10. I think that might be put forward to pay for the hosting of the dolecasts.

As soon as I get the prize money I will pay it and set up the link for all of you to get bored or offended.

Thanks for reading. Keep on reading. And hopefully you'll be listening to some drivel soon enough.

----- Original Message -----
From: "Strobes" <strobes@private-eye.co.uk>
To: "Peyotitlan"
Sent: Thursday, November 09, 2006 11:57 AM
Subject: RE: Coleman balls...

You have recently sent Private Eye a submission.
We have published your submission.

Please send your address for payment. 1171

Projects and status.

Greetings my beautiful and exclusive (not to insult you by calling you small) audience.

As you can see, not much has changed since I started this blog. Sadly I am still unemployed and that is not for lack of trying to stop it. I am still applying for as many jobs as I can and am still here. Recently I went to some temping (temporary work) agencies in my town. Turning up makes them take your details there and then, apart from that I don't think there is much change.

They are the estate agents of the employment world. They judge my skills even though I'd be more than happy to get paid just to stuff envelopes. Still, they eye you up and down making you feel like a dirty tart trying to gate crash a private function.

This morning I got up as early as usual, 6.30 though you might not believe me. Had breakfast with my wife before she went to work. Took a shower immediately after she left, just on the off chance that I got to go to work somewhere this morning...

I am still waiting for the call, however, I am showered now. That would have not taken place until near 11 after I'd come back from my run, but there you go. I have searched and applied for a couple of jobs and now decided to update you on all the latest gossip.

You see, I thought I would feel dirtier going to the temping agencies and being eyed up and down. However it didn't feel half as bad as signing on every other week. The problem to going to sign on is the fact that not only are you keeping tabs on your (un)success(ful) rate at getting a job. You have to as well show to somebody how many jobs you have failed to get, yet applied for.

I try and keep myself under some pressure so that I don't spend the morning 'flicking myself to Trisha' or down the pub. But fucking hell!!! I find it frustrating enough looking at the number of applications and the little response.

Hopefully I'll be temping and employment being a jealous mistress, will come hounding after me once I have something going on somewhere else. If not, as long as I can buy Christmas cards, a present for my wife and the ocassional pint, would keep me quiet. The funniest thing about the prospect of temping is that I will be working for a small company in a small town, in a small office; they will be more anal about me wearing a shirt and tie than many bigger companies in bigger cities would mind. All that for the pride of stuffing envelopes. See my desperation that now I find it funny rather than humiliating!?!?! I need an income and I need it now.

On a different note, I have been busy hitting the next blog button and viewing several other blogs. I have left comments on the ones that I like or agree. Some people reply to them and can compliment on my blog. Thank you all for visiting and thank you for leaving a comment. Though one that cracked me up as it was as honest and spot on is the following '...and seeing as you are no stranger to the "dirty and selfish" hunt for hits...'. He could have not been more right and me more embarrassed. He then proposed that we keep an eye on each other's blog and that I will do. I will continue looking at the others and believe me that I was honest in my comments.

All the blogs where I didn't leave a comment is perhaps because I would have been invited to be aggressive and rude and offensive and I don't really like doing that to strangers.

On the new projects. Well, well, well... as mentioned in a previous entry, this is an idea that Kate J had. I have begun trialing the world of podcasting. Ha, I know!?!?! I have recorded a pilot episode of the 'Dolecasts' and trying a few things there. I have to get used to listening to it and making it flow better. The funniest thing is that Kate's idea came because I was wasting too much of her time with the blog... ha, ha, ha. I am wasting every one's time, including my never ending supply of spare time.

So once it all gets to an acceptable level and I cough up with the £10 needed for the hosting, it will all be there for you to access. I will of course make a song and dance about it and set up a link here. The downloads will be free as I actually haven't got any money to pay you all to download it.

I'll leave it at that as it is already too long and I will have to add images hoping that you got to this bit. If you got all the way down here and the pictures still make no sense with the text... sorry.

Gotan Project live @ Brixton Academy 3 Nov

Gotan Project at Brixton academy 3 Nov 06. I would give it four four and a half out of five stars.

It was an amazing gig. You can see in the photos that they did the most of the stage and had a gigantic screen where they projected amazing visuals. They played a mix from their three albums.

They came on stage all dressed in white. Two violinists, one viola, one cello, one piano, an accordion, singer, guitarrist, DJ and the main guy on his laptop. It was fantastic. A good mix of up beat and mellow tracks with stunning images playing on the background that helped you lose yourself.

One of the personal highlights was when on the screen a gigantic MC walked behind the band and started MC'ing in Spanish. All this while the violins, viola, accordion and DJ are going crazy playing with all their might. The song dipped for a second, only for another MC to join on the screen and they start alternating at an amazing speed in the closest thing that it was intelligible Spanish.

They did two encores and on the second one an MC (made of flesh and blood) joined them on stage for the last track. They went on for another 10 or maybe 15 minutes with the MC working the crowd brilliantly whilst the band wore themselves down in a frantic Tango mele.

Brief update.

Greetings all. I had a fantastic birthday weekend and a great Saturday night. As usual, I didn't take any photos so it will all have to remain committed to a beery memory.

Sadly today I am feeling rather poorly. I do not want to go into details but it is not nice and I feel fairly ill.

Once I recover from this bug I shall update you on various different subjects that truly interest me. As well I have started taking steps into an illuminated suggestion from Kate J, thank you. All I can say is that I have downloaded the software and run one little test... and it worked!!!

So once I have a few spare minutes I shall draw up a list and then get working on that marvelous yet rather disturbing idea. I wish I could say fear not, but then I would be giving you all a false sense of hope and security. All I can suggest is for you to wait and sit tight and see in how many wonderful ways we can expand this little space.

Anyway, I am off now for what I hope will be a speedy recovery as I need to start temping this week and get on with the new little project. And I promise that the new project will not distract me from this. That is a threat that I promise I will honour.

More on Madonna's adoption...

This is about Madonna about adopting that kid. The fact that Madonna is adopted is still a media secret. So please don't go telling anyone. Anyway, it is about the adoption process she has found herself embroiled in. As she has not actually adopted the kid, yet she has still managed to get him out of Malawi and into the UK. As odd and suspicious it all has become.

Here is an extract from an article on NME.COM and it is hilarious...

...Madonna added that there were "many conditions" that made her "worry for his life"."One was the fact that, according to the reverend who ran the orphanage that David came from, his father never visited him," she told the BBC's Newsnight in an interview to be broadcast on November 1. "His father lived 50 or 60km away, had not car, had no money and, as far as I was told, had remarried and moved on with him life."...

It seems that no matter what, she'll get to keep the kid. So lets wish the best to the little man and hope that Madonna isn't the one to teach him how to speak English. Imagine the poor little boy coming up with such, incorrect, nonsense and with a bit of an american accent.

Dead air by Iain Banks

I have finally finished reading Dead air. It wasn't too much of a struggle, but it wasn't that much of an enjoyable ride either.

I am not saying that it is all bad, but I personally think it is far, far away from being back on the top of the pile. My first concern comes from the fact that it doesn't flow as nicely as some of his previous books. At moments I felt that he was competing with himself, with previous books, rather than let the story develop more naturally. It is like listening to a new album by Red hot chili peppers. It is trying to sound like its old self, completely ignoring that it is the same person writing the damn thing.

Sadly some of the best moments are 'arguments' or 'rants' that the main character is having about either terrorist attacks, the war on terror, Israel and all those 'controversial' issues. The problem I found was the fact is that an incredible number of people are very aware of the on going argument and most people that I know would agree with him. The problem is that it feels that it was written just to upset people. If I want to read those arguments I simply buy the news papers or read John Pilger.

One thing that seriously disappointed me was the fact that it is to some extent a love story. Nothing wrong with that but though some incidents add an edge to it, it still has a happy ending and it doesn't quite fit in. The grim feeling and scene we encounter on the penultimate chapter washes down by the time you read the second page of the last chapter. In essence is an Iain Banks book, but to me it felt more like a ghost writer filling in for him and going through a check list. Everything that one would expect to be there, is there, but it is rather vacuous.

It didn't help that a third into the book I had two potential images for the main character. One of them was Ricky Gervais and the other was Mr. Banks himself. You can't take it seriously after that. Even worse was when I reached the half way point. Mr. Gervais and Mr. Banks fused into one to become the main character. Their fusion resulted in none other than Rory McGrath. The rest is down hill.

Though one is redeemed by a glimpse of the straight-forwardness, simplicity and wit of the Iain Banks one has read and respects. This brief glimpse comes in the shape of chapter 10 'Location, location, location'. Though that chapter might not justify purchasing the book, nor dismissing it completely. I would advise you to have a cheeky look next time you are in a book shop.